Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Is Self Sufficiency Possible for Social Security Recipients


I composed my thoughts a little more, and will schedule with my pcp asap. My father sent me a text yesterday threatening to have me committed unless I just get over it already. He doesn't get it. If I refuse just "get over it" to try to get my benefits back, he will withhold my "allowance" even longer.

The material and financial loss resulting from the Centerstone situation is totally irrelevant to him, since I don't bother telling him that I had dropped down to 94 pounds when he left the country for two months and I ran out of food because he didn't send any money while he was gone.



He still has not paid my electric, rent, or other utilities, and I paid my medical and phone myself, electric reconnect myself since he never bothered to have it turned off when I got evicted over the $4.50 late fee.


All I need is the form to reverse the rep payee decision from SSA. I'm pretty sure a judge would remove him immediately if they the correspondence, but then I would have no one to represent me at all.


I have heard the rumors, and I know that several lawyers in town called him to tell him that I was "embarrassing myself by things I said on FaceBook."

He's on FaceBook, and he knows all about the poverty and gunfire I reported. Adam Dread told me to go the airport and he would call my father to try and "talk things out" the way lawyers do.  Well, fuck you, Adam! When you told me to "go home to the city I where I was born" and  went through the trouble of making sure there was no "conflict of interest for you to try have a "man-to-man" discussion with my pops?

I had no idea don't what on earth made me trust the sob, but hind sight is 20-20, and trust me... you are NO super lawyer... [more details and direct quotes to follow.... i gotta hit the welfare office] 

.... but he told me return to the city I was born, while he worked it out that I could get paid from the event I did for the Inaugural Ball. Obviously, that never happened so after 3 hrs, the police showed up.





They took me to mobile crisis where I placed in a room by myself for 20 minutes in handcuffs on the floor. They would not even get me a glass of water or juice and since I had been in my car for almost 36 hrs since the shooting, I was quite dehydrated.



Also, received a letter from DHS yesterday recognizing their mistake, however my father told me he does times my conversations to under 2 minutes.


Emails must be 100 words or less. We all know that not possible for me.


I finally picked up my medication and cut stretched my script for 2.5 months since it cost $59.99 out of pocket. Because my father places limits on how much I can spend on medication, I can't even tell you what a slap in the face it is to finally purchase my medication only to find my account overdrawn since I didn't realize I wouls now be resposbible for additional late fees on top of all the other fucked up crap I've had to deal with. 


I dont argue with about the money, but I do take issue with my being paid late so that I become responsible for the late or reactivation fees.

 

I have the name of a therapist two specialists in this type of trauma. One MD, one PsyD who has a masters. Neither accept TennCare. 

 

Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs

 

I need to fill out and fax forms and my printers sat in the rain at Dabbs for days.  It costs $2.50 /pg at kinkos and I already spent my entire monthly allowance on food gas and medicine.



Any suggestions?



EDITORIAL NOTE: 11/21/2009

I STILL NOT RECEIVED A CENT OF THE DISABILITY PAYMENT DEPOSITED INTO A BUSINESS [IOTOLA] ACCOUNT LISTED UNDER THE NAME DURANT & DURANT.


I HAVE NO "STUFF."  AS PROMISED, MY MY FATHER DID NOT MOVE AN INCH OR A CENT TO HELP ME REGARDLESS OF HIS CONTRACTUAL OBLGATION TO ACT IN MY BEST INTERESTS TO PROTECT MY HEALTH AND FINANCIAL STABILITY.  


I HAVE $O DOLLARS IN MY BANK ACCOUNT, HAVE NOT THIS MONTHS RENT, ELECTRIC,  OR PHONE. I HAVE $2 IN FOOD STAMPS AND $7.00 CASH TO LAST THE MONTH.  ONE AGAIN, HE MANAGED TO SHOW ME WHO IS BOSS AT THE HOLIDAYS.


FOOL ME ONCE... 


I DON'T KNOW WHAT I "DID" TO MY PARENTS TO MAKE THEM TREAT ME WITH SUCH INDIFFERENCE, SO PLEASE DON'T BOTHER TO ASK. BUT IF YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT I DID, I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW... 


THAT'S ALL FOR NOW FOLKS. MY HANDS ARE ICE COLD, AND SLEEPING IN MY CAR OR ON THIS STUPID AIR MATTRESS HAS DEFINITELY TAKEN IT'S TOLL. THE PAIN IS BACK.  I SUPPOSE IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, IT IS MY HEART, MY FAITH, AND MY HOPE THAT WILL HURT THE MOST.


HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

I AM REMINDED ALL TOO WELL OF THE DAY I STARTED THIS BLOG... TWO YEARS AGO TO THE DAY.  WHEN I DECIDED TO STOP BEING A VICTIM...

AFTER BEING LEFT AT THE AIRPORT ONN THANKSGIVING DAY.


"I FEEL LIKE I'M LIVING THE WORST DAY OVER AND OVER. AND EVERY IS THE WORST DAY  EVER... 

EVERY DAY IS THE WORST DAY EVER.


THE WORST DAY EVER."


WHAT A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.  AND IT NEVER EVER ENDS...






"I got no pace to go, I've got no where to run.

I'm sick of this waiting, so go on and take your shot. You can sit there and judge me... say what you want to.

I'm a nightmare, a disaster. That's what they always said, but I'll make it on my own.

I'm a lost cause, not a hero. But I'll make it on my own.

I've got to prove them wrong.

It's me against the world."

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